nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
