If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
