I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
wow bdsm is so cute
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