If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
