Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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