Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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