It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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