I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
