Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
