my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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