let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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