Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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