you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize