I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
