She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
