Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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