and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
