Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
