Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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