I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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