He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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