just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
