worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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