Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
