Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
