I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
