these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
