Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
