i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
