If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i can't believe i had my finger in that
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
