This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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