Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
