corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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