"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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