We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
