You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
