I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
