Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
