i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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