We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
