I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
