it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
