i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
