did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
