spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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