you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
