I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
