You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
