If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize