Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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