We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
