If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
