my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
