Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
