that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
