My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
