Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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