i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
