Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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